Dear Feelings, Kindly Go Eff Yourself

My community is muddling through the loss of a 47 year old mother of four.  I didn’t know her well.  I met her once when she came to pick up her son who’d been shooting hoops with Jerod in the backyard.  Her son is in the same class as Jerod, and has a twin sister.  They have two sisters, another set of twins, who I think are in the 11th grade (but don’t quote me on that).  For reasons that are complex, these kids’ dad is not currently around.

It’s a pretty dismal scenario, but I convinced myself I didn’t need to invest too much emotion into the situation.  I only met this woman once.  We ran in pretty much completely different circles.  No need for me to get mushy.  The plan was going along fairly nicely, until Elise and I went to dinner tonight.  I had grand plans for family dinner, but at the last minute Chris and Jerod decided to go to the Vikings game, so we opted to go out to her favorite neighborhood restaurant.  Which has the audacity to be located next to the funeral home where the visitation was taking place.

My initial thought?  Welp, this restaurant is WAY too busy, we’ll need to come up with plan B.  Then I remembered why all those cars were around.  Bitch slapped by reality.

Elise and I were both on our phones more than we should have been, but we had a perfectly fine dinner.  Except for the fact that I couldn’t stop thinking about the four teenagers next door greeting friends and family who had come to express condolences for their deceased mother.  Much like the mom, I don’t know these kids well.  Regardless, I’m just sad.  Sad that they’re having to stand there greeting mourners when they should be home watching Monday Night Football.  Or otherwise procrastinating doing their homework.  Or rolling their adolescent eyes at their parents for asking them to put their dirty dishes in the dishwasher.  Or shooting hoops.  Anything.  They should be doing anything but standing in a funeral parlor.

I’m but an outlier to this entire scenario, but my heart breaks for all involved.  I’d appreciate you thoughts, prayers, or other practices for these kids and our community. Be kind to everyone you meet.

One thought on “Dear Feelings, Kindly Go Eff Yourself

  1. And by the grace of God and a twist of fate in our favor we’re still here. Of course, your mothering heart breaks for these kids. There is no sense-making that works. This is the dark side of great mystery.


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