Errr. Maybe a little bit of complaining on the yacht.
First things first, let’s not ever mention you’ve seen this photo.
It’s my kid, seven months away from high school graduation, “visiting” a college. I say “visiting” because there was no talking to faculty, no campus tour, no seeing the inside of any building. He “visited” a few schools last weekend. Better than nothing, but I’m weary of better than nothing. So weary.
It’s homecoming weekend in local hometown. A football game is being played tonight. I don’t know who is able to be in attendance, but I reckon spectators who aren’t parents of players are pretty few and far between. There was no parade. There will be no dance. No nothing. I’m low key excited there has been none of the typical mania around this weekend (buying clothes, booking dinners, planning after-parties, searching bags for contraband items), but I’m sad for my kids. They don’t really care, or at least they don’t say they do, but I think on some level, they kinda care. Especially my senior. Especially when there is no end in sight. A football game is better than nothing, but I’m weary of better than nothing. So weary.
Chris and I were able to take in some live music last week. It was outside, socially distanced, and freezing ass cold. It was really, really nice. But I miss climate controlled shows. Still, it was better than nothing. You know what comes next… So weary.
Hybrid model of school, online worship, watching the Minnesota Loons on the tee-vee instead of from our regular seats, a semblance of a fall soccer season for my sophomore, virtual debate tournaments, I could go on and on and on. We could all go on and on and on about being weary of better than nothing.
A few weeks ago I read a post about the six month point in a crisis. It was helpful, although disconcerting to know that the six month wall would likely last four to six weeks. Still, it ended on a hopeful note:
I suppose this six month wall is what I’m dealing with. Perhaps with a side of stress and hormones. But the word interminable goes through my mind on an hourly basis. I am grateful for so, so much. Primarily the health of my family. But I am weary weary weary. Trying to focus on the miracle and the marvel, but mostly complaining on the yacht.